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3 Tips to Keep Your Cool During Heated Debate
Posted: October 26th, 2010
By: Marty Latz
Category: Negotiation
In light of Bill O’ Reilly’ s contentious appearance on ABC’ s "The View," which culminated with Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar walking off the set, here are three negotiating tips to consider when strong emotions erupt in the negotiation context.
1. Don’ t immediately react – Responding in kind to an emotional outburst can quickly cause things to spiral out of control. So remain silent and let your counterpart vent. Thomas Jefferson wisely said, “ When angry, count 10 before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.”
2. Don’ t argue – Listen respectfully and acknowledge the legitimacy of your counterpart’s points and feelings, even when you don’ t agree with them. And ask open-ended questions like “ why,” “ how,” “ what,” and “ tell me about” to help them open up.
3. Depersonalize the situation – Rely on independent standards or procedures that both sides will accept as leading to a fair result. An expert’s opinion, similar to market value and precedent, will focus the attention away from you and instead on objective criteria.
While implementing these tips won’ t make for compelling television, they will help you close the deal.
Marty Latz is the founder of Latz Negotiation Institute, a national negotiation training and consulting company, and ExpertNegotiator, a Web-based software company that helps managers and negotiators more effectively negotiate and implement best practices based on the experts' proven research. He is also the author of Gain the Edge! Negotiating to Get What You Want (St. Martin’ s Press 2004). He can be reached at 480-951-3222 or Latz@ExpertNegotiator.com.
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