The American Dream has changed, especially for many urban professionals. Previously, getting married, having kids, moving to the suburbs and keeping up with the Joneses was the ultimate way to go, even for the lawyer billing 80+ hours per week. Now, many single and divorced people are savoring their unmarried lifestyles, and are leveraging the freedom of being unattached to creatively develop their business networks. There are unique strategies you can pursue when networking as a single attorney.

Free to be Networking

Hays Ellisen, a partner at Katten Muchin Rosenman LLP, says that being single gives him the ability to plan casual, fun events in the evenings. According to Ellisen, accessibility is a benefit of being single. "Married people in some cases are less accessible than single people. I can do lunch, dinner, drinks and after-hours events." For instance, Ellisen recently organized a casual client dinner for about 25 bank employees at Pop Burger, a trendy but inexpensive New York restaurant. He also gathers people together for karaoke nights in New York’s Koreatown neighborhood.

Olivera Medenica, a partner at Wahab & Medenica LLC, agrees that having evenings free and attending networking events is a huge advantage of being single. Medenica is extremely prolific in attending, as well as organizing, networking events for attorneys. She chairs committees for both the NYC Bar and NYCLA (New York County Lawyers Association). Through NYCLA, she runs PartnerTrack, a lawyers’ networking group that has bimonthly cocktail events after work. Medenica notes, "I have the flexibility to network between 6:30-8p.m., and that is a time when many cocktail and bar association events are held."

Kaye Scholer counsel Mike Sapienza recommends taking the initiative in planning social events for current and prospective clients. He says, "When you’re single, it’s easier to go out after events and be spontaneous. I go out of my way to initiate social events and to cultivate social relationships with my clients. If they think of me as a friend, they are more likely to call me when they have questions or concerns, or deals they may want to bring me in on."

Walking the Line: Personal vs. Professional

Bob Perry is Managing Partner of King & Spalding’s New York office. He says that being single has never impacted his legal career, or his networking. "Clients have not questioned my being single. I do, however, gauge people’s comfort level and act accordingly. For example, if a client is bringing his wife and kids to an event, I’ll consider bringing another partner from the firm with me to balance out the situation." In terms of blurring the line between personal and professional, Perry is very adamant about keeping the two separate. "For me, the line between personal and professional is a very definite one that you just don’t cross. I choose one or the other — not both."
Kramer Levin associate Tamika Cushenberry has had first-hand experience with networking as a single female attorney, and she admits that it is difficult when men’s personal/professional intentions are unclear. She is very serious about keeping the relationship professional and not blurring the line. "As a woman," she says, "I want to be very clear to appear professional. With men, I find that my conversations are more formal than familiar, which could impact the natural development of a relationship. In general, I don’t feel that I am fully receptive to men reaching out to me in what appears to be a professional context, and I’m definitely more conservative than aggressive in pursuing business relationships with men."

Know Your Audience

Various types of networking events require a tailored approach. If you’re a single attorney, you may have to make adjustments for events that are specifically geared toward people with spouses and children, or for events that have more of a social tone.

Medenica says that when she attends off-site retreat events dominated by family activities, she makes sure to be inclusive of the contact’s family when she’s networking. "If the husband is a business prospect, sometimes I’ll end up networking with his wife instead, or talking with them both together. In this scenario, I make sure to include the wife in the conversation, and to explain legal terms to her if she’s not an attorney. Ignoring or excluding the spouse is never a smart move."

Conclusion

From a networking standpoint, being a single attorney has tremendous advantages in terms of flexibility and time to network. However, it is fraught with the challenge of keeping personal and professional contacts separate enough to ensure the integrity and longevity of relationships. Keeping in touch with people, single and married, as they change jobs and move up, is beneficial for all attorneys. By initiating and attending events that suit your personality and interests, and setting clear boundaries for yourself and others, you can enjoy networking and leverage your personal freedom as a single attorney into professional accomplishment. Fortunately today, whether you’re single, divorced or married, basically you can rewrite the American Dream to read any way you want!

(Reprinted with permission of ALM Law Journal Newsletters Marketing The Law Firm.)
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Christy Burke, a member of this newsletter’s Board of Editors, is President of Burke & Company LLC (http://www.burke-company.com/), a New York-based public relations and marketing firm. She can be reached at 917-623-5096 or cburke@burke-company.com.