Friday Five: Halloween is for Lawyers Too
Posted: October 26th, 2007
By: Zach Heller
Category: Friday Five

Halloween is just around the bend, and since most people will be celebrating it this weekend, I thought I would celebrate it right now.  Here is a special Friday Five dedicated to the massive amounts of candy that will purchased, given away, and eaten in recognition of this oddity of a holiday.

TOP 5 CANDIES FOR LAWYERS

1)    NERDS.  With all the studying you guys did in school, and still do with continuing case analysis and CLE, this one should need no explanation.  Next item please.

2)    ONE HUNDRED GRAND BARS.  I saw mentioned in an article earlier this month that the first few attorney’s topped the $1000/hour mark this year.  This means that to get $100,000 on a particular case is no stretch.  For this candy, maybe it would make sense to get the fun size, because you will be giving your lawyer a few “hundred grands”.  See also, PayDay and those little gold coin chocolates.

3)    JAWBREAKERS.  This is for all of those people that have an attorney out there they wish to see fail.  Here at Lawline.com we do not advocate violence, hatred, or anything ill-willed in nature.  However, giving a jawbreaker to an attorney could wind up eliminating his ability to carry out those long-winded speeches necessary for him to operate.  After all the pain he will be in when he tries to bite into one of these candies, he will have to resort to doing more research, and leave the talking to everyone around him for awhile.

4)    KIT KATS.  This one is more for the theme song than the actual candy.  “Gimme a break” could be the theme song of any lawyer out there.  With so much work to be done, every minor issue can become a major hassle.  If you ever feel the need to go off on a hysterical fit because there is so much to be done and people keep asking for your help, just remember the motto made catchy by the good people at Hershey’s.  Even eat one, chocolate calms you down.

5)    LIFESAVERS.  Lawyers take a lot of heat from the general public.  People sometimes see lawyers as evil or detrimental to society.  However, most of the time this is only because people are judging lawyers based on a lack of knowledge of the legal system and all the work that goes into it.  The truth is, when you are in a bind, a lawyer can be the best friend you have.

And so ends the sweetest version of the Friday Five to date.  I hope everyone enjoys Halloween, however you celebrate.  Just remember to save that candy for that much needed late afternoon sugar rush.

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